In Memory Of
by SerenityChaos
Summary: Following Devil's Trap SPOILERY, so can't give a good summary...sorry. Please readreview. Not sure if this is a oneshot or if I'll continue.


A/N: This follows the season one finale Devil's Trap, so if you haven't seen or don't know what happened at the end, you probably shouldn't read any further.

In Memory Of

My name is Sam Winchester.

They tell me that I was in a car crash and that my birthday was six days ago. But they also told me that I like green Jell-O, so I know they're liars.

"Good morning, Samuel," Nurse Katie greets me as she enters the room. "How are you feeling this morning?"

I'm not sure. I have to think for a minute. "I think my head hurts," I finally find the answer.

She smiles at me and pats my shoulder. "That's to be expected, Sweetie."

Then why did she ask me?

"Do you know where you are?"

Why does everyone always have to keep asking me questions like this one? I swear they have all asked me at least six times today. And yet, the answer is escaping me at the moment. I have to think. And finally I remember. "St. Joseph's Hospital."

"What is the date today?" she waits patiently as I think on it.

"May…eighth."

"Of what year?"

"Ni…" She almost fooled me. They get really upset with me when I don't tell them the answers they want to hear. "Twenty Oh Six." I hope I remember that one right. She jots something down on her little clipboard, though, so I think maybe I'm wrong. I wait for her to tell me the right answer so that I can memorize it for next time. But she doesn't tell me, she only gives me the next question on the test.

"Who is the president of the United States?"

"George Bush." The one easy answer. As if he could still be president in 2006. Even I know that's not possible. But it's still what they want to hear, so I repeat it back to them.

"Very good," she smiles at me.

"Can I see my brother now?" I ask, hopeful that this will be the time one of them finally says yes. I've learned to stop asking about Daddy, but they keep telling me that I can see my brother soon.

"Your brother?" she asks, and I can hear the edge to her voice.

I roll my eyes. Oh, that's right. I messed it up again. "My _cousin_," I try again. I don't care what they make me call him. Dean. I want to see Dean. I'll call him my cousin if it makes them happy. "Can I see my cousin Dean now?" I've asked and asked, but they always tell me that I'll have to wait. What if it's just because he doesn't want to see me? I stare down at my hands, which are still way too big. I wonder why they wrapped them up so much.

As if she can see my fear, she gently pats my shoulder again. "He's been asking about you just about as much as you've asked about him." So…? I look at her, expectantly. "He said to tell you that he'll be here as soon as he can. They're releasing him today."

I smile brightly. "Me, too?"

She smiles sympathetically. "Sorry, but you're still going to be here for a few days."

I scowl. I don't want to stay here. I want to go home. But I can't think about that because every time I do, my eyes start to get all teary.

"You ready for some more Jell-O?"

"What kind?" I ask suspiciously.

"I'm not sure, but I think it's red today."

I nod. I like the red Jell-O.

"Okay, hold tight, and I'll be right back with it." Like I am going anywhere? I have to wait for Dean.

She's only gone for a minute before another man comes in, in a wheelchair. I haven't seen him before. I look at him curiously. Obviously he's a patient, because he's in the chair and all. Plus his leg is all bandaged up in a huge boot cast, kind of like the one that I had to wear when I fell out of the tree that one time. And his face and arms have all sorts of scratches. He looks so sad. So I smile at him.

"Hey, Sammy," he greets me. I don't remember meeting him, but maybe he was here when I was sleeping those first few days.

"Hi," I greet back shyly. I don't like it that he knows who I am, but I don't know who he is.

He parks his chair next to my bed and just stares at me. His eyes look tired and just a little watery, like he's about to cry. Instead he reaches out his hand and lays it gently on mine. "It's so good to see you," he says, his voice raw with emotion. "I thought when they wouldn't let me see you that you were…I'm just so glad you're here." He wipes his eyes quickly, and I see that his palm was wet when his hand lowers again.

I glance over toward the nurse call button, wondering if maybe this guy is a little crazy or something. But he seems harmless, I guess. I look back at him and feel like I should say something. "You, too," I answer, forcing my smile a little bit. I want to know who he is, but don't want to ask and make him feel bad for not knowing. Then again Dean always told me that I shouldn't talk to strangers and this guy was a stranger, so I probably should find out who he is.

"What's wrong?" he asks and his hand moves up to gently stroke my hair.

He's wearing a hospital bracelet. I smile a little and follow it with my eyes, trying to see the name. Dean VanHalen. He has my brother's name. Cool. And a last name like that Eddie guy my Dean raves about all the time.

"I want to go home," I answer his question. "They say I can't leave yet, though," I complain, hoping that maybe he'll take my side.

"Yeah," Dean agreed. "You hit your head pretty bad. They want to make sure you're really okay before they let you go."

I sigh and sink back against the pillow. So much for getting him to help me convince them. My Dean would. I wonder where he is. Maybe this guy knows. "Dean?" I ask.

"MMhmm?"

"Do you um…" I felt a little guilty that I was about to let the guy know that he wasn't the visitor I really wanted. "Have you seen my brother?"

His eyes widen for a moment and his jaw drops slightly.

"His name is Dean, like yours," I inform him, hoping he'll remember another Dean. "Except his last name is Winchester. Not VanHalen."

"Sammy?"

I look at him questioningly, not sure why he asked my name.

"It's me. It's Dean."

"I know. I saw your bracelet thingie. And it's not that I don't…appreciate you visiting and all, but…I really want my brother."

The guy gets up from his chair, wincing and clutching his stomach as he almost falls back down. Instead he moves closer to me, staring at me wide-eyed, like he's never seen me before or something. "I am your brother. It's me. Dean." I can hear an edge to his voice and that's when I realize that it's another one of those stupid games they're playing with me. Like the test.

"Please," I whisper, and know that my eyes are filling with tears. I can't help it. I don't know why they're doing this to me. I just want them to stop. I sink back as far away from him as I can. "Please just let me see my brother," I plead with him.

And suddenly the guy looks furious. I cry out and raise my arms to ward off a blow. I lower them slowly as none comes. Instead he's looking at me with a look of horror. His eyes are tearing, too, though. "God, Sammy…I…" He slumps back down in his chair, still staring at me.

"Please. His name is Dean Winchester," I try one more time to get his help.

"Oh…Sammy."

I look up as Nurse Katie bustles into the room. She sees Dean and smiles at him.

He doesn't smile back. "Why didn't anyone tell me?" he asks, his voice shaking.

"Tell you what, sweetie?" she asks.

His face grows darker. "Tell me what? How about that my b-cousin here doesn't know who I am?"

My tears spill over, cascading down my cheeks. He's the one they've been telling me would come? My "cousin"? I draw my knees up to my chest and bury my face against them. I thought my brother was coming for me. I thought…but it was all just one big trick they were playing on me. I want to go home! I want Dean. I want my Daddy. I try not to, because I know my Daddy wouldn't like it, but I can't hold in the sobs that wrack my body.

"Sam?" the fake Dean asks, the anger gone from his voice. I feel his hand against my back. He begins rubbing it gently, just like my Dean does when I'm upset.

"Go away," I choke out between my sobs.

"Sam, how old are you?"

I know the real answer, but I know that it's not the one they'll want. I cry harder because even though I'm good at math, I just can't figure out how old I'll be in 2006. "All of you just go away. I'm not…answering any more questions, I'm not. Not until my Daddy or Dean comes for me." Dean's hand stops moving but is still pressed against my back.

"Sammy, please. Just one question and then I won't ask anymore," he tries again after a minute. "How old are you?"

I chew my lip and squeeze my eyes shut as I concentrate, searching for the right answer. They tell me that I just had my birthday a few days ago. So 2006 minus 1983. I can do this. I just am not used to working with such big numbers without paper. I can do it all the time when Dean quizzes me, though, so I have to concentrate. "Twenty three?" I guess.

"The truth, Sammy. Please. How old are you?"

I look up at him, wondering what the new angle of this game is. I look over at Nurse Katie, who is watching us both with wide eyes.

I hold up my fingers to show them.

And fake-Dean says a naughty word.

A/N: Honestly not sure if this is a one-shot or not. Please review!


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